From Afar: Possessions and Concessions

To belong or not to belong? That is the question I asked my girlfriend several thousand times while transferring a brimming apartment into small boxes and a Hyundai. She was very helpful, often erring on the side of “Abandon that, I beg of you, for the love of Goodwill.”

It was my apartment’s fault I had acquired so much stuff; high ceilings create huge closets, and empty shelves are bad for feng shui, and sure maybe I could have purged more in the past but throwing an item on a shelf was historically much easier than walking it out the door.

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From Afar: Moving On

Labor Day 2006. The last big wave of tourists on Martha’s Vineyard departed and it was time for my Hollywood life to begin. I needed reliable transportation and sage advice, so I tossed my successful comedy writer father into the passenger seat of my Toyota and drove onto the ferry. I asked him to pack light, which he did, although he revealed in Woods Hole that he had brought nine hats.

While our ultimate goal was Los Angeles, my dad and I made sure we had a blast every step of the journey.

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From Afar: The coldest man

Your winter has been unfathomable. The colossal cold and suffocating snow should end soon — well, in theory anyway. You never know, this could be the next ice age. Summer might be a thing of the past, like the typewriter, a history lesson we pass down to our grandchildren around the nightly bonfire.

In Los Angeles this winter, the average temperature hovered mostly in the 60’s and 70’s, however I feel like I have suffered along with you in a different, weirder way. Living out here has made me so horribly soft that 50 degree evenings now feel like blizzards.

Where did I go wrong? Is there hope for me? Will I survive?

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Not a Joke: I took a year off for comedy’s sake

I am a screenwriter and comedian, and all I want is a career in entertainment. A common starting place for this dream is to work for other entertainers, and over the past six years I have assisted writers, producers, and directors in various capacities.

In 2012, I found myself pleased with my life’s progression, at least on paper. I had been performing stand up for over two years and begun to find my voice and comfort on stage. My work for a high profile director exposed me to the ins and outs of the industry and acted as a surrogate graduate school. My writing continued to sharpen, and my confidence reached an all-time high.

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From Afar: Two Day Job

It’s times like these when I miss my old Vineyard summer jobs the most.

The Hollywood Producer interrogating me received 200 resumes and scheduled 25 interviews. I was thrilled to make the final round and dumbstruck when he offered me the job. I didn’t expect this because I’d flubbed an important interview question.

He asked me how I dealt with stress.

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